Laura's Story
I was 3 months pregnant and had a really bad cold. It was one thing after another with my pregnancy, nausea the whole day, bad headaches, hip pains, and then I developed a bad cold. I remember being so congested I could not breathe at all. I tried all kinds of tricks people gave me and nothing worked. Moreover, since I was pregnant I couldn’t take anything strong that could harm the baby. One day I woke up from a nap after work with this horrible sensation. I felt as if someone was smothering me and applying pressure on my chest. I jumped out of bed and ran to the living room. My heart was pumping so hard and I felt so afraid, I thought I was going to die. All I wanted to do was run outside and catch some fresh air but even that didn’t work. I kept pacing back and forth at home, so nervous and scared; I didn’t know what to do. It took me a while to calm down because I did not know what was wrong. After that night, the nightmare began. Every night after that day, I felt so much anxiety and was so nervous while trying to get some sleep. I must have gone to the bathroom every 5 minutes the entire night. My stomach felt so upset and I had butterflies in it all night. I could not get to sleep as much as I tried. I was so tired and so sleepy but as soon as I would close my eyes I felt as if I was falling back. My heart would start racing and it felt as if it were going to jump put of my chest. I could hear the palpitations so intense, I would freak out. I became afraid to sleep and would worry all day about it. I started having bad thoughts about death and horrible thoughts about being pregnant. I hated being pregnant because I thought having a baby was what caused all this. I remember thinking every minute I was better off dead than feeling the way I did. I felt short of breath all the time, the anxiety got worse with the lack of sleep; I started having panic attacks and became claustrophobic. After a month, with no sleep, I was prescribed ambien to help but that didn’t work. I was later diagnosed with depression. I would cry every night and pray to God to take me away because I couldn’t live this way. I visited so many doctors and everyone told me I was fine. They said it was pregnancy related and seemed liked depression and anxiety together, so I should begin to take anti-depressive medication. The medication would help me control my anxiety and help to prevent post partum depression, since I was now at risk. I thought I was going crazy and that my life was over. I was ready to die and didn’t have a care in the world anymore. Why me? I would ask, what did I do to deserve all this? All I wanted was to have a baby with my husband and have a happy family.
Through a friend at work, I heard about Jim. She was going through something similar and told me he was helping her. At that point, I was willing to try anything. I looked up his webpage and listened to his recordings. I couldn’t believe someone felt what I had felt. I was not alone. Listening to the recordings gave me courage to keep moving forward and not to give up. I decided to email him and he called me back. It was so comforting to listen to his voice on my cell phone. It was the same voice I had been listening to for a few days on my radio for a few days. Jim was the angel I needed that God sent from above. He talked me to through so many frustrating and worrisome days. He always answered my emails and always sent me encouraging words and messages. Little by little he helped me understand that I had the power to control what was happening to me. Somehow I was doing all this to myself and didn’t know it. I was always looking for medical and outside answers. My condition was nervous illness. I was afraid of being afraid. I have to admit that the few months I spent talking to Jim; I ended up in the ER a couple times. I was still hoping to get answers to what was happening to me but I was always sent home more confused and worse than ever. On the other hand, Jim was always straight forward and reassuring. He knew I didn’t need medication, he knew I was SENSITIZED. At first, I couldn’t accept any of this, no matter how hard I tried. How could I control this myself when I had no strength? How could I change my thoughts and stop being afraid, when I felt trapped in my own body? How could I accept the anxiety and nervousness and not fight it, when it was the most horrible thing I had ever experienced in my life. Well it took a while but I did it. I listened to the recordings everyday 5x a day or more. I also practiced his relaxation techniques 2 to 3 times a day. I learned to accept those feelings that were driving me crazy, I learned to change my thoughts and not be afraid of them. I learned to STOP BEING AFRAID! Jim is such a wonderful person; I could never thank him enough for helping me get my life back. He was with me from the beginning until the end of it all and continues to be with me. He understood everything I was going through and always kept me going, expecting nothing in return but my full recovery. Jim always assured me that I would get better; I just needed to believe and practice. He told me it wouldn’t be an easy road but it was also never impossible. JIM NEVER GAVE UP ON ME! I was lucky to find Jim because if it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I would have been. I am now 8 and a half months pregnant and happier than ever. I have my life back and now that I think back, I see it as a bad nightmare. It is something I left in the past and will never let take control my life again. Anyone can do it, you just have to believe and practice! Never give up!!!!! Love You Jim!!!!!